The Incredible Mr. Tinh

With more sights to see outside the city we booked a 3 day/ 2 night boat tour of Halong Bay and the Cat Ba islands. Our tour guide - Mr. Tinh - shuttled us onto the still-moving van outside the hotel and entertained us with pop quizzes about Vietnam history and culture during the three-hour trip. He quickly won us over with his humour and knowledge, and made us smile whenever we called for him by responding with a sassy twist of the head and smirky smile, "Can I help you?"

Our three days were spent on and off the boat, scouting the still, aquamarine waters for giant kong seua (jellyfish) from our kayaks. There was relative concern for our safety, but when we assured the crew that we could swim, they didn't make us wear those annoying life jackets. Plus, upon seeing our first jellyfish, no way were we getting in the water, no matter how inviting. Our guide was very nonplussed about our sighting:
"A jellyfish? Why, yes. Maybe it will sting you. It will be so funny. We will go to hotel for treatment."
"Hotel?...Oh, hospital."
"Yes, hotel."
"Mr. Tinh, have you ever been stung?"
"Yes, many times. It was so funny...Ok, you go swimming now or no?"

The next day we left the boat and ventured to Cat Ba National Park for an enjoyable hike, which was preluded with this announcement by our dear guide:
"We are going there." (He points to a mountain in the far recesses of the background.) If you don't think you can go, don't. It is not easy."
Following this understatement of the century, we began our trek. As we trudged up the steep incline, dodging thorny branches and trying not to slip in the mud, we asked, "Mr. Tinh, how long does it take to reach the top?" He replied, "For me? One hour and a half. For you? Maybe two hours." As our fitness level had just been put into question (never mind that he probably completes the hike at least twice a week) we made it our mission to prove our prowess, with much success--Mr. Tinh was very impressed. The view from the top was worth the mud on our shoes...and our pants...and our elbows, faces, and hair.