Happy Birthday My King

Once vowing never to work on a Saturday, the girls made an exception this past Saturday morning in exchange for a three-day holiday to celebrate the King’s 80th birthday. It was worth it, as the recovery for 36 hours without sleep in Pattaya (see previous entry for further details) was spent on Ko Samet, an island three hours from our home. What better way to honor the world’s longest reigning monarch on his birthday than on a white sandy beach, complete with volleyball net, turquoise water, and celebrity moments? For the second time this month, we encountered a group of Thais so enamored by our presence that they demanded, “You. Me. Picture, one!” which actually meant, “Excuse me, kind foreigner. Can I trouble you for an impromptu photo shoot on that cliff overlooking the ocean with my companions and me? It shan’t take but a half hour, and we have whiskey.” Being the generous daras we are, we always oblige our fans. For those of you enjoying the snow at home, here are some shots to warm your toes.

Max and Shitty

Thais are very fond of their nicknames. Since most of their real names are 27 letters long (and unpronounceable to the western tongue) it is not surprising that they shorten them to names like Pig, Ball, Beer and Gun (BANG!) Leave it to us to find the two nicknames certain to draw a raised eyebrow during introductions… Keeks is actually a variation of Kiki, a name that carried over from her days as a pole dancer in the hopes that it would be easier for the students to pronounce than her real name. In Thai, when pronounced in the middle tone, Kiki (or kee-kee), actually means “shitty.” Mac is a more common nickname, interpreted by the Thai ear to be “Max”, since Thais tend to substitute the sound ‘x’ with the letter ‘k’. Thus introductions often elicit the response, “Oh, same same boy Thailand!” or, as was the case this past weekend, “That name my dog.” Either they get over this oddity (realizing she is not, in fact, a Thai boy), ask for Mac’s real name or give her a new one, such as Ma keu-a tet (tomato) or Som Tum (papaya salad, bok-bok!)

Pattaya: Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady...boy

Twenty five minutes (and about 70 cents) after flagging down any southbound bus on Sukhumvit Road, we find ourselves in that little piece of Thailand most associate with words like "temptation", "bar girls", "Sin City" and "ping-pong show." To be fair, these words were offered up by the farang men we share an office with and who don't give much credit to the beaches, temples and other activities Pattaya has to offer beyond the pavement of Walking Street. However, for us Pattaya has taken on an entirely different meaning because we have discovered the one word that no one in the office cared to volunteer- BoysTown (yeah, it's one word.)
In one month of being here (five weekends), we have made the short trip to Pattaya three times. Our friends, Christopher and Niddy, own a restaurant in the area so we are never without company and the trip is worth it just for the two-hour long, 200 baht Thai massage. Boystown offers a refreshing atmosphere of sanuk, and keeps us away from the monotony of Walking Street where tourists gawk at the alternative lifestyle choices so openly embraced by Thai culture. Plus, in Boystown we can flirt ruthlessly with gay men, knowing at the end of the night their interests lay elsewhere… all puns intended. The last two trips to Pattaya have been occasions for celebration- once to attend the one year in business anniversary for Niddy’s Nook, and the second (and most recent) for the fifth annual Pattaya Gay Festival, an event which raises money for AIDS treatment in Thailand. We've made friends in high places, and often enjoy VIP status as a result of all the old queens clamoring for the company of the token females in attendance. We tried going into detail about the festival night specifically but the webmaster contacted us, threatening to shut down our blog if we ever posted stories like that again (and that was after five hours of censoring and editing.) It would be a lot funnier if it weren’t so true. Instead we’ve posted the following pictures to tell our story, and we’ll leave the details to your imaginations...








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